debxena

The last few weeks, that is. Some great, some appalling.

In the great category:
Work: I got going on my two new (part-time) jobs, and am having a brilliant time finding my feet with both of them. Job #1 is with my old boss, who now owns half of an IT company - network support, for those that're interested. While they're great what they do, they're suck at documenting and streamlining their procedures. Which is where I come in. I'm doing 15 hrs a week for them, 2/3rds there and 1/3rd at home, eventually to increase the home component and decrease the office component. Works well, as I go in two days a week and get to enjoy working with my Boss again!

Job #2 is actually a two-parter: one part is presentations and sales (yes, I know - me, doing sales!); the other is co-ordination of presentation bookings for all the presenters around the country. The first part is coming up to speed now, and will probably be two evenings a week. The second part is 14 hrs in the office, spread over three days. I've been really enjoying both components, although the presentation portion has been a tad stressful, as it's been a LOT of information for me to learn and get right. But I've presented twice now (one partially, one completely), and get to do my first solo next weekend!

A heap of folk have helped me by listening to me learn my script, testing me with cue-cards, going over the product information with me, bothering me about the prices, and so on - they're all wonderful! And probably know as much about the products as I do, now :)

I also finally finished up at my old job - there was a fortnight of cross-over where I was working all THREE jobs, was additionally sick as a very sick person, and was still managing most of it. But it's all finished now (thankfully!), except for one morning this week where I'm going in (and getting paid to go in) and show someone else how to do one of the things my role required. The fact that there are a dozen things that need to be kept on top of seems to be being ignored - but that's not my problem. So I'll teach this particular one and then leave them to it :)

Entertainment:Al also got to go and see Phantom of the Opera a few weeks ago, along with other hospice patients. I was so glad he got to see it - I saw it when I was younger, but he'd not had the opportunity. Apparently it was fantastic! And I popped off to Armageddon this year, for the first time since 2003 - it was damned crowded, but I ran into a lot of friends, bought some anime and some comics, and nearly got my car towed (but not quite). It was a lot of fun :)

In the appalling category:
Loss:Well, it starts well. About two months ago, Al (aka bigtaz, aka my brother) fell in love. A new boyfriend for the first time in three years! Lloyd was charming, nice to look at, got on well with Sprocket (Al's dog), and was around a LOT. Which we didn't mind at all - he put a smile on Al's face.

But Lloyd died unexpectedly a few weeks ago - Al woke up and Lloyd was dead next to him. It was a dreadful shock to Al, especially as it was only a week earlier that he and Lloyd had found Lloyd's auntie (who they were looking after) had died in the night. Lloyd's family had spent most of that week blaming the two of them (even though the coroner found that she had died of natural causes) - to which Lloyd's reaction was a) to try and protect Al by pushing him away, followed by b) self-medicating with booze and drugs. They got themselves sorted out and back together over the weekend, but it seems that the night before he died, Lloyd had been taking (too many) diazepam, on top of beer. And that when Al had gone to sleep, he'd swigged some of Al's strongest medication on top of that. He just wanted to sleep - but he didn't get to wake up.

It was a surreal day. Al running into the house to get me, saying almost word-for-word what he's said to me about Mum ('I think she/he's dead!'); me trying to find a pulse and wake him; Al on the phone to 111, and me having to take over and explain that there was likely no point trying CPR as the body was cold; the ambulance crew being astonishingly kind; the police very gently taking Al's statement; the funeral guy taking Lloyd to the hospital to autopsy; his family arriving just after the body had gone. The numbness and rawness and bleakness and blankness of death in your face.

Al is gutted. It's been really hard on him, especially when a number of Lloyd's family and friends are blaming Al for his death. He spent a week away from home at a friends, three of us went to the funeral, and he's had a blessing and tapu-lifting ceremony done on the bed - he wouldn't even sit on it, let alone sleep on it, before that was done. But what was the point, you know? He wonders whether there was any reason for him to meet and know Lloyd, for their two daughters to play together, for him to open himself and be vulnerable and then lose another person dear to him.

He's hurting so badly, and there's nothing I can do for him.

This time a year ago we were in the Gold Coast. I wasn't sure he'd even be around now. He's here all right, but the stress has really been fucking with his delicate health the last few weeks. I wonder what the long-term impact will be?

Money:In other not-so-hot news, the universe has noticed me earning money, and decided we don't really need it! Al's car bust it's water-pump, and cost nearly $1K to get fixed. His laptop fritzed, and is in the shop (although a very kind friend has loaned him one in the meantime). And this week one of his teeth decided to stop slowly decaying and to crumble painfully instead. We found a dentist happy to treat an HIV+ patient, and Al had an emergency extraction (extracting $500 from our credit card). The dentist had apparently worked in a clinic in Aussie that saw a lot of HIV+ folk, and he recognised something we didn't know - that Al's KS has spread to his mouth, and is in his gums. This is not good to know, although I'm not sure how much impact it's going to have. Means that the cancer is still spreading, though.


So that's the good and the bad. I've been putting off writing because, frankly, I didn't know what to write. And was reluctant to emo all over everyone's friends page. But it's out there now. Life keeps rolling on - jobs and death and money and entertainment and love and tiredness and keeping-on-keeping-on. I just want to sleep, too. But I want to keep on waking up for as long as I can.

So, I've been working on this fantastically long and detailed post about my birthday. Which was three weeks ago. I'm still working on it - there are descriptions, and photos, and delighted squeeing - thanks to Ben, my brother Al, my dear lovers, and my wonderful friends, I had a very memorable and fantastic 30 hours of turning 30. So that's still to come.

In the meantime, bullet points:

~ I love being thirty. It love it very much.

~ Giftmas eve Ben and I had dinner with his dad and his dad's partner. A lovely time was had by all. Unfortunately, Ben had not reminded them that I don't eat meat (other than fish), and they'd forgotten. Shonagh had cooked a lovely lamb roast for us all! Brief ethical dilemma when I realised this, about whether it was better to apologise and stick to the couscous and salad - and embarrass her - or to suck it up and eat as little as I could politely get away with. I went with the latter in the end, eating about 150g worth (for the record, if it had been chicken or pork, I would have not eaten it - but lamb and beef I can make small concessions for, as generally they're treated better in this country). It was very nice, for lamb. Even before I went vege I tended to avoid it, as it does horrible things to my internals, so it's been a looooooooong time since I had any. Still, was okay. Explained to Ben later why I'd eaten it, and we now have a new policy - always remind the relatives.

~ Giftmas went well, despite my migraine being worse than it has in ages. I sucked down painkillers for the day and got through (six pills over the day - usually I have less than that in six weeks). We spent the afternoon/evening with Aria's family up in Orewa - Grandma was there, along with me and Al and Ben. There were only 4 chilluns, Aria being the oldest at nine, but it felt like there was 7 or so. Madness. Was subjected to 'Elf', 'Shrek Christmas', and 'National Tresaure' on the television, ate lots of great food (prawns yay!) but not as much as the meat-eaters, and managed the drive there and back without crashing and killing anyone, despite rain and head-soreness and crazy drivers.

~ Waifs and Strays the next day was excellent. Not as many people as we often have, but nice numbers, and nice people! There was one unpleasant person, a guest, but he went soon enough. Lots of geekery, food, and some lovely hugs and presents. We ended the day watching Pixar short films and eating pizza, which is really a good way to finish.

~ Two weeks off work went astonishingly fast, and felt like ages. Paradox ahoy.

~ Clearing out folders and files at work and throwing out old and irrelevant stuff feels great! And not really like work at all. Plus I've nearly filled a paper-box with paper for recycling in the printer. I did, however, damage myself with the staple remover. As you do.

~ Complicated money-stuff: Ben and I need a new car - we love Selkie and she's done well, but the cost to repair her rust is now well over what she's worth. The lovely growler_south found a potential car for us, which we liked. And the price was good. So after a test-drive the other week I did some research with bank loans, then applied. And after an hour on the phone with them yesterday, WE WERE APPROVED. This pleases me. For those curious, we're with ASB - a tabled flat-interest rate of 14.5%, which we'll pay over two years. So now we've signed the papers, I drop them back at the bank this afternoon, and I should be able to draw down a bank cheque tomorrow. Hooray!

~ The car is a Toyota Caldina stationwagon. White, with a licence plate starting EGS. I think a name like Egghead or Chickychick is in order. Thoughts?

~ Anyone want a lovely Toyota Corona '89, as non-lemony as they get but with some rust in the front panels, currently unwarrented and with an expired rego? She'll treat you well, once she's repaired and legal again.



Hmm. This post wasn't that short after all, was it? Oh well.