debxena

Kinda random updatiness. You have been warned.

Work
I gave my first solo presentation/party last weekend! It went really well, both in feedback and in sales. I guess I can do sales after all, provided it's product that I am interested in and genuinely think will make a difference to people.

The average sales for each party is about $1k, assuming 10-20 people. I only had 8 people there, no eftpos, and still made $1k - and gave lots of advice and answered lots of questions. Go me ;)  Got all my admin paperwork to balance the next day, as well!

I was on my feet for a lot longer than I'd anticipated, though. There's the presentation, of course - but for the next two hours of questions and sales I was also on my feet. Wiped me out for all of the next day - although I treated myself to a bath, and that helped. Sunday is very definitely a stay-home-and-recover-and-spend-time-with-Ben day, these days.

Al
He's still missing Lloyd, which is entirely to be expected. For the most part he is 'okay'. The hospice arranged for him to have a blessing/tapu lifting done on his bed, and that's helped somewhat - he's more comfortable being in his sleepout, and can actually sleep in the bed again. The sheets were washed twice and put in a clothing bin, though. Fair enough, I guess.

Unfortunately, one of Lloyd's siblings (out of four) has been causing trouble: she was texting Al last weekend and being very nasty and unpleasant indeed (of the 'so, have you killed anyone this week?' variety). He's taken it as an opportunity to change cellphone numbers and networks - if you're a friend of his and you didn't get the text with the new number, drop me an email and I'll ask him to get in touch with you.

Lloyd's mother and one of his brothers is still getting on well with Al, though - the latter visited Al yesterday afternoon, and he talked to his mum on the phone a few times a week. So it's the shame that the sister in question is being so hateful and blaming. I can understand wanting to blame someone - but it's a real shitter that it's Al she's putting it on.

Anime
The anime film festival is on! Ben is going to quite a few, but we're going together to the double-feature on his birthday (Blood: The Last Vampire and My Neighbour Totoro). Funnilt enough, we've either seen or own everything they're showing - but most things we haven't had the pleasure of seeing on the big screen (Appleseed and Howl's Moving Castle I have seen at the movies, and they're both worth it).

Incidentally, did anyone else know there was a second Appleseed movie out (Appleseed: Ex Machina)? Deb wants!

Voting
Well, Al and Ben and I all went and did our voting duty. I am unimpressed at the outcome ... but it's only three years. Yay Greens for getting a larger proportion of the vote!

Family
Dad would have been 61 last Saturday. Which seems really strange to me, as he never had his 50's (he died at 47). His mother's birthday is the day before, and my mother's father's the day before that. They're both dead too. Why do I remember the birthdays of people who are dead?

While Ben and Al and I have all been invited to Wellington for a BIG shindig celebrating my aunt and uncle's combined 60th birthdays, we won't be going down. It's a bitch trying to plan ahead anyhow, and it sounds like it's going to be way too rambunctious and noisy for any of us. Hopefully we'll make it down for a visit early next year instead.

It occurs to me that people are going to start asking us about Giftmas plans shortly. Eep.

The last few weeks, that is. Some great, some appalling.

In the great category:
Work: I got going on my two new (part-time) jobs, and am having a brilliant time finding my feet with both of them. Job #1 is with my old boss, who now owns half of an IT company - network support, for those that're interested. While they're great what they do, they're suck at documenting and streamlining their procedures. Which is where I come in. I'm doing 15 hrs a week for them, 2/3rds there and 1/3rd at home, eventually to increase the home component and decrease the office component. Works well, as I go in two days a week and get to enjoy working with my Boss again!

Job #2 is actually a two-parter: one part is presentations and sales (yes, I know - me, doing sales!); the other is co-ordination of presentation bookings for all the presenters around the country. The first part is coming up to speed now, and will probably be two evenings a week. The second part is 14 hrs in the office, spread over three days. I've been really enjoying both components, although the presentation portion has been a tad stressful, as it's been a LOT of information for me to learn and get right. But I've presented twice now (one partially, one completely), and get to do my first solo next weekend!

A heap of folk have helped me by listening to me learn my script, testing me with cue-cards, going over the product information with me, bothering me about the prices, and so on - they're all wonderful! And probably know as much about the products as I do, now :)

I also finally finished up at my old job - there was a fortnight of cross-over where I was working all THREE jobs, was additionally sick as a very sick person, and was still managing most of it. But it's all finished now (thankfully!), except for one morning this week where I'm going in (and getting paid to go in) and show someone else how to do one of the things my role required. The fact that there are a dozen things that need to be kept on top of seems to be being ignored - but that's not my problem. So I'll teach this particular one and then leave them to it :)

Entertainment:Al also got to go and see Phantom of the Opera a few weeks ago, along with other hospice patients. I was so glad he got to see it - I saw it when I was younger, but he'd not had the opportunity. Apparently it was fantastic! And I popped off to Armageddon this year, for the first time since 2003 - it was damned crowded, but I ran into a lot of friends, bought some anime and some comics, and nearly got my car towed (but not quite). It was a lot of fun :)

In the appalling category:
Loss:Well, it starts well. About two months ago, Al (aka bigtaz, aka my brother) fell in love. A new boyfriend for the first time in three years! Lloyd was charming, nice to look at, got on well with Sprocket (Al's dog), and was around a LOT. Which we didn't mind at all - he put a smile on Al's face.

But Lloyd died unexpectedly a few weeks ago - Al woke up and Lloyd was dead next to him. It was a dreadful shock to Al, especially as it was only a week earlier that he and Lloyd had found Lloyd's auntie (who they were looking after) had died in the night. Lloyd's family had spent most of that week blaming the two of them (even though the coroner found that she had died of natural causes) - to which Lloyd's reaction was a) to try and protect Al by pushing him away, followed by b) self-medicating with booze and drugs. They got themselves sorted out and back together over the weekend, but it seems that the night before he died, Lloyd had been taking (too many) diazepam, on top of beer. And that when Al had gone to sleep, he'd swigged some of Al's strongest medication on top of that. He just wanted to sleep - but he didn't get to wake up.

It was a surreal day. Al running into the house to get me, saying almost word-for-word what he's said to me about Mum ('I think she/he's dead!'); me trying to find a pulse and wake him; Al on the phone to 111, and me having to take over and explain that there was likely no point trying CPR as the body was cold; the ambulance crew being astonishingly kind; the police very gently taking Al's statement; the funeral guy taking Lloyd to the hospital to autopsy; his family arriving just after the body had gone. The numbness and rawness and bleakness and blankness of death in your face.

Al is gutted. It's been really hard on him, especially when a number of Lloyd's family and friends are blaming Al for his death. He spent a week away from home at a friends, three of us went to the funeral, and he's had a blessing and tapu-lifting ceremony done on the bed - he wouldn't even sit on it, let alone sleep on it, before that was done. But what was the point, you know? He wonders whether there was any reason for him to meet and know Lloyd, for their two daughters to play together, for him to open himself and be vulnerable and then lose another person dear to him.

He's hurting so badly, and there's nothing I can do for him.

This time a year ago we were in the Gold Coast. I wasn't sure he'd even be around now. He's here all right, but the stress has really been fucking with his delicate health the last few weeks. I wonder what the long-term impact will be?

Money:In other not-so-hot news, the universe has noticed me earning money, and decided we don't really need it! Al's car bust it's water-pump, and cost nearly $1K to get fixed. His laptop fritzed, and is in the shop (although a very kind friend has loaned him one in the meantime). And this week one of his teeth decided to stop slowly decaying and to crumble painfully instead. We found a dentist happy to treat an HIV+ patient, and Al had an emergency extraction (extracting $500 from our credit card). The dentist had apparently worked in a clinic in Aussie that saw a lot of HIV+ folk, and he recognised something we didn't know - that Al's KS has spread to his mouth, and is in his gums. This is not good to know, although I'm not sure how much impact it's going to have. Means that the cancer is still spreading, though.


So that's the good and the bad. I've been putting off writing because, frankly, I didn't know what to write. And was reluctant to emo all over everyone's friends page. But it's out there now. Life keeps rolling on - jobs and death and money and entertainment and love and tiredness and keeping-on-keeping-on. I just want to sleep, too. But I want to keep on waking up for as long as I can.

Looks like I'm getting back in the swing of regular, albeit weekly, posting. This is a good thing!

This past week has been full of nice stuff - all weeks should be this pleasant, I think.

When I went with Alex to the hospice social day (Opening Doors) on Tuesday, I received a lovely facial and hand-massage - the trainees from International College of Camille were present, doing make-overs and massages and pedicures and the like. I feel a bit guilty sometimes receiving these relaxing things (when a patient could be in my place), but I have to remind myself that a) they're there for a few hours, and everyone who wants attention gets it, and b) as a caregiver I deserve pampering too! A very good pampering it was, and I glowed all day.

I also attended a very successful job interview mid-week (reminding myself all the way there that 'I am made of awesome' obviously did the trick), and I now have additional part-time work, a few evenings a week, to supplement my income. I have some more from-home admin-type work as well. This is all very, very good, and will make the household finances a lot happier :) Working part-time in a few different roles really suits me, as it keeps the hours flexible, and my interest high. Some of it is extroverted people stuff, and some is time-alone focus stuff, and the balance will work well for me.

Saturday we helped ekmahal and Tobermorey to move house. This involved bed-assembly, duct-tape, filthy jokes, sally lunn, and (eep) me accidentally backing into their new letterbox. No major damage, however! Their new place is HUGE, and *nods* definitely going to move Waifs and Strays to there this year (at their suggestion).

Saturday evening Ben and I joined the Wolverines having dinner at neongraal's place. It was a real pleasure to not have to cook, and the food - dinner and dessert - was delicious! We were completely bushed by the time we got home, though.

Thursday and Sunday were complete relaxation days, where I spent a lot of time in bed, some time on the computer, painted, watched more Buffy S2, and stayed in my nightie all day. Luxury!

TV
~ Ben and I watched the third ep of Fringe. It continues to be creepy, cool, and compelling - Ben and I are both enjoying it, although for completely different reasons. Interestingly, neither of us is that enamoured of the main character (but we both like Astrid a lot)! Took me a while to click that Broyles is also Abbadon from Lost, though.

You know you can see Walter's lab notes every week, right? His banana cake recipe after Ep 1 was hilarious.

~ Heroes eps 1 and 2 of S3 (were they played together?). Interesting twists, specifically ( cut for spoilers )

~ Wipe-out. I blame bigtaz for making me watching this, and it happened to be the 'Wipies' episode, so we got to see the worst of it all. Granted, I laughed (a lot), but I felt like a worse human being afterwards. I miss The Krypton Factor and L&P Top Town.

Books
I plowed through a lot of books this week, nearly all of them re-reads, and for good reason.

~ Lady Slings the Booze, by Spider Robinson. Can't go wrong with punsters, sexual openness, crime and time travel now, can you?

~ The Curse of Chalion, and Paladin of Souls, by Lois McMaster Bujold. I really like this fantasy series, as much for the world it's set it and for the characters within it. Definitely has the Bujold touch though, making characters memorable and the protagonists loveable despite their faults.

~ Richard Adams' Favourite Animal Stories. Many familiar, many not. Most interesting discovery is that I can't read the Br'er Rabbit stories in the original argot Joel Chandler Harris wrote them in. What happened to the children's book with great coloured illustrations where I could actually understand what was going on?

Movies
Whilst eating Deb's delicious dessert on Saturday evening, we poured animation into our brains, via The Animation Show Volume 1. (Mixing Don Hertzfeld and Mike Judge is creeeeeeepy.) There were some amazing animation styles and stories, and most of them held us spellbound. According to the wonderful interwebs, there are more volumes, which I think we may have to track down ...

These are what Ben and I decided later were out favourites from the disc (with youtube links):
~ Aria by Pjotr Sapegin
~ Das Rad by Heidi Wittlinger
~ Brother, Cousin, and Uncle by Adam Elliot
~ Bathtime in Clerkenwell by Alex Budovsky (below, and my personal favourite, for the music as much as the animation)
~ and, of course, Billy's Balloon by Don Hertzfeldt



And tonight! Tonight I'm off to see the new documentary about Tim Minchin, Rock n' Roll Nerd (I won tickets, and am delighted)! I'll let you know how it turns out.

And if you haven't heard of Tim Minchin? Oh dear ... go and watch this - the first thing of his I ever saw :)

And there really is! Split into sections for easy reading/skimming purposes. Assuming there's anyone left who's interesting in reading/skimming...

Work
Some of you know that I've been job-hunting since the end of last year, looking to find part-time work I can do from home. The reasons being a) migraine and b) spending time with my brother while I still can.

The hunting was profoundly unsuccessful. There was a lot of looking at potential jobs on the jobsites and finding yet-another-make-thousands-per-week-automated-bullshit scan, a lot of checking the local papers, and a few applications and interviews. Bugger.

Eventually, come the end of May, I had a big talk with Ben, ex-co-worker Muirie, and friend moonspirit43. The upshot of which was the decision to take the plunge. The next day I handed in my month's notice, with no work to go to. The vague plan was to be at home, and to pick up the occasional 1-day job or short-term temp position or inveigle friends to hire me for business-y stuff I can do at home.

Cut to this week, with 4 days left to go. My boss has (finally) figured out that me leaving leaves a big hole with no-one else able to do the work. We negotiate, and instead of being resigned, I'm going to stay on working 10 hrs a week - 5 in the office (on one day), and 5 at home (spread out how I like). I also negotiated myself a pay-rise, which makes me happy.

The advantage of this is some regular guaranteed income will still be coming in, and I still have plenty of time at home to either faff, work, or pick up small jobs outside of work. And it all changes next week!

Brother
Alex aka bigtaz is still deteriorating, albeit slowly. He appeared on Close Up a few months back, having attended a big hospice-organised day at the Pukekohe Raceway - it was very cool! (that link takes you to the segment in question - just click on the link for 'Close Up: Racing Hospice', under the 'Related Video' heading.)

Since then people have been just amazing in helping him achieve the goals on his bucket list. A few weeks later he went up in a helicopter and flew over Auckland for 2 hours, which I gather he thoroughly enjoyed. Then a few weeks after that, he and I attended the matinee session of 'La Boheme', at the Aotea Centre. It's his favourite opera, but he'd never had the pleasure of seeing it live - he was working backstage when it last was put on here in Auckland. We were driven there in a Cadillac as well, which was a huge treat!

Right now he and his best friend are in Queenstown, for five days. Qantas paid for the flights there and back (and gave them access to the Qantas lounge), while Destination Queenstown have been just amazing - organising primo accomodation, lots of activites (shotover jet, gondola, cruise, 4WD to Macetown, onsen hot pools etc), and most of the meals as well. Initially I was going to go with him, but we had a big talk, and he really wanted his friend to go - they've been mates for about six years. I was okay with that, especially having had the holiday to the Gold Coast with him last year. So they're down there, over the winter festival (even better!), and having a blast.

But he is getting sicker. There's still no time-frame for how long it's going to take him to die, and we just live with that. He goes into the hospice for respite every 2-3 months for about a week, and he also attends their social day, Opening Doors, most Tuesdays. I've been once (and will be going more, now), and it's great - a bunch of sick folk and their carers, lots of nice food, massages, haircuts, chatter, and the occasional guest speaker. It's fantastic, and he often comes home with little gifts, and with his nails repainted :)

Migraine
Still got it. Still mostly able to live with it. Still taking a lot of different pills to help minimise it.

Been over three years now. Go away, pesky chronic migraine!

Love
Ben and I are still doing really well - I do have an amazing husband, and I'm delighted that he puts up with me. Given that he's the primary support for me, Alex, and two mad cats, he does remarkably well. I tell him I love him often, and show my love with good cooking and lots of cups of tea. Among other things.

My poly loves are still doing well - along with Ben, I also have my lover and four 'friends-with-benefits' (all of whom read this *waves to them*). As such, I now refer to my dance-card as 'full' ... and to my google calendar a lot!

I love my life. I love having lovers who are friends with each other (and me). And I love being able to be open about it.

---

I've undoubtedly left a lot of stuff out, here. Which will give me an excuse to post again, soon!

Well, no bikini - maybe a postini? My co-worker keeps Coast FM playing and I hear all sorts of old music - some crap, some great (Tequila!). And the song that inspired the post-title was a few minutes ago.

$: You know what I think of when I hear that song? I remember my parents working the election one year, when we'd just moved to Auckland - I would have been 8-10 years old. Their election booth was set up in an unoccupied shop on Henderson Valley Road (near the Forest Hill Road intersection and the pony club) and my brother and I were there all day with them, staying out of the way by playing in the kitchenette area. We listened to the radio, coloured in, read books, and I can't remember what else. We were there for about 12 hours. And that song played more than once. Enough that I learned the words. Haven't heard it for years now.

#: Our house is currently at maximum capacity, with me and Ben and Al - the usual - Al's friend Andy, and now doc_spatial guesting with us for a few weeks. And Andy's cat along with our two... Mind you, the fold-out couch isn't being used yet! Just the couch and bed in the sleep-out, and the two beds in the house. Muirie was kind enough to supply Al with a new mattress, and we've utilised Freecycle to get rid of his old one, which was paining his back from lying on it too much. We like Freecycle.

}: My paid account with LJ expired, along with userpics. I'm still posting on LJ, and reading journals, but everything is cross-posted to Insane Journal, where I'm 'Permanently Insane'. I like it here a lot better.

%: I managed over three weeks of going to work without missing a day. Broke that yesterday, dammit. So now to try and beat it!

^: I've been going to the dentist to get my mercury amalgam fillings replaced (and a few new ones). So far have had two appointments, three new fillings, and one replacement. I have one more appointment for three replacements, then I'm done. Amex love me right now... (the hope is that getting rid of the amalgam will help get rid of my migraine as well. Can't hurt, at least.)

@: Meringue AKA Merry the Caldina is a lovely car. growler_south did a fantastic post with squeeing photos from the day she became mine. Amuse yourself here.

*: If you wanted to get a new tube for a wheelchair tyre (the large ones, not the teeny ones), would you go to a bicycle shop?